“Your little will can’t do anything. It takes Great Determination. Great Determination doesn’t mean just you making an effort. It means the whole universe is behind you and with you – the birds, trees, sky, moon, and ten directions.” – Katagiri Roshi
I haven’t written a blog post in quite a long time.
I also haven’t been out with friends much.
I kind of felt like a car with a leaking fuel tank. No matter how much I put in, I just kept running low on energy. I gave and gave and gave, pushing my body and mind to the limit. Although I knew it was important to follow the compass in my heart, my relentless refusal to fail made me say yes to more and more projects, even though North was pointing in a different direction.
My body was screaming at me. My hands and face were covered in red blotchy eczema and I had recurring nightmares. When I didn’t listen, my body dived into cupcakes and chocolate and those cute Sissy Boy jeans no longer pulled over my thighs. [Read more…]